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Disclaimer: The story of Christy is owned the
Marshall-LeSourd Family. We are in no way seeking profit or credit for her
story. This fiction is written for our own amusement only. This story uses
themes from the book, CBS series and the PAX movies.
"The
Passage of Time"
by Beth S.
Christy gazed restlessly
through her upstairs bedroom window in
Her current melancholy had not characterized her early convalescent period.
Indeed she had soared through the first few days after rousing from
unconsciousness. The euphoria of her heavenly experience and basking in the
love of Neil gave her every reason to live and strive for recovery. She had
been unenthusiastic about leaving Cutter Gap and even more reluctant to leave
Neil but it had been unanimous that she should return to
Moving languidly away from the window Christy intended to crawl back into bed
where at least sleep could anaesthetise the sense of
hopelessness that had taken up residence in her heart. Catching a glimpse of
herself in her dressing mirror Christy hesitated to further examine herself.
Peering back at her was a listless and gaunt apparition that she only vaguely recognised as herself. Still in her creased white lace
nightgown from the night before, Christy could not stop staring at herself,
shocked at the reality she saw before her. Her once luxurious waist length hair
was now sparse, limp and matted framing her pale angular face. Her eyes that
had always dominated her countenance betrayed her inner turmoil. Where her
contours had been shapely, now she could feel protruding bones. The pallor of
her skin from lack of sunlight contrasted very little with her white nightgown.
How could Neil ever love me looking like this she ruminated in disgust? But
from a place deep inside of her she knew the answer. Neil MacNeill had loved
her for so much more than her outside appearance. He had loved her for her
spirit and her courage. She smiled now as she recalled him calling after her
all those months ago, "You have fire in you, and I like fire in a
woman!" Where was that fire now she mused? All but snuffed out, dampened
by disappointment and exhaustion. She must claim back that part of herself that
she had lost in the weeks of recovery and cloistered confinement. She must
return to her mountains, for it was there that she had truly found herself. And
it was there she felt sure that she could recover completely.
With the resolution to return to Cutter Gap taken firm root in her mind Christy
became aware of the full implications of the plan. If it had been hard to
convince her mother to allow an idealistic nineteen year old to tame the
mountains then it would be nigh impossible to convince her that she should
return to " that god-forsaken place that almost killed you". Christy
did not doubt that her mother was motivated by love. But it was a possessive
all-consuming love. A love that had no place for Christy's new found
independence. She had been at odds with her mother for as
long as she could remember, preferring the quiet unconditional love of
her father. In her delicate state Christy did not have the will to challenge
her mother and so had allowed herself to be fussed over and mollycoddled. Christy
knew that in order to mend her broken spirit she could no longer allow others
to make decisions for her, not her mother, nor even Neil MacNeill.
Deep in contemplation Christy did not hear the hesitant knock at her bedroom
door till her mother's full figure was in view. Dressed impeccably in red woolen
dress trimmed with green lace, Julia Huddleston had come to announce that she
and Mr. Huddleston were about to leave for carol singing. Christy complimented
her mother on her appearance, feeling genuinely happy that her mother's focus
had shifted at least for tonight from herself. As their eyes met Christy was
sure that she heard her mother wince, before quickly looking away pretending to
be distracted by smoothing out a crease in her skirt. Christy was not fooled
and saw the anxious creases of worry return to her mother's once self-possessed
countenance. This look of uneasiness had
come to dominate her mother's features since Christy's illness. It pained Christy that she was the source of
her mother's anguish, further determining Christy that she must stop wallowing
in self-pity and choose to get well.
"Perhaps dear it would be better if I stayed in tonight, just in case you
may…" began Julia hesitantly casting a furtive glance around the room.
"Nonsense, Mother!" Christy interrupted quickly, "I will be
fine. Sally is here if I should need anything. Besides hearing you and Daddy
sing outside my window tonight was to be the highlight of my day!"
"Well, if you are sure, dear." said Julia not entirely convinced.
"Be sure to dress warmly and I shall send Sally up to stoke the
fire." Julia then bent over and kissed her daughter's forehead while
tenderly brushing a wayward curl aside.
It was perhaps an hour later when Christy heard the rich sound of Christmas
merriment from outside her window. Happily she climbed out of bed and draped
the quilt made by Granny Barclay over her shoulders in order to appease her
mother. She came to the window and waved until she had caught the choir's
attention. The choir was a mismatched bunch of men and women ranging from youth
to octogenarian but the sum of all providing vocal harmony reminiscent of the
heavenly choir of
Christy, weary but more content than she had been in a long time began to make
preparations for bed. After washing her face and hands Christy set to work on
her hair that was in total disarray from many days of neglect. It felt natural
for Christy to continue on where the choir had left off and began singing all
of the Christmas hymns and carols that she recalled from childhood. Christy had
not been endowed with the angelic voice of her mother but tonight she sang with
spirit an enthusiasm. For as she sang she found that she was filled with praise
and thanksgiving to God that she was alive, feeling sure her earthly commotion
was sweet music to the ears of her Father in heaven. With a hoarse voice
Christy sang a final grand finale of "Joy to the World" and was just
about to climb into bed and snuff out her gas lamp when she heard the same
carol, being sung in solo from somewhere below her window. It was a familiar
voice of deep baritone, rich and clear.
"Joy to the World the Saviour is come
Let earth receive her King"
Hurrying to the window thinking that perhaps the stray singer was trying to
find the rest of the choir, Christy momentarily froze and could not believe her
eyes. For just below her window standing
in the freshly fallen snow was Neil MacNeill, unruly curls endeavoured
to be tamed under a stylish hat and muscular frame somewhat stiff in a new
tailor made suit. He caught sight of her in the window and her eyes locked with
his blue unfathomable eyes, her mouth gaping open unable to speak. Neil must
have found Christy being lost for words rather humorous for he smiled that
enigmatic smile. Then bowing slightly, whilst simultaneously holding out his
hat as if asking for a donation continued on singing where he had just left
off.
"Let everyone receive him now
And heaven and angels sing
And heaven and angels…"
It seemed like an eternity before she could compose herself. But the composure
was to be short lived, when the reality of having Neil so close dawned on her.
Forgetting that she was only scantily clad in nightgown and bare feet Christy
raced out of her room, bounded down the stairs and after fumbling impatiently
with the front door latch released herself out into the front garden. She raced
towards him now, ready to throw herself into his open arms but inadvertently
slipped upon the icy ground and landed in an unceremonious heap at his feet
instead. The magical moment of the lover's reunion ended abruptly with Neil
assuming the role of Doctor and effortlessly scooping Christy into his arms
hurried her inside out of the cold.
Sometime later Christy finally found herself alone with Neil. Only Christy's
pride had been bruised by her fall and she now lay comfortably on the sofa in a
cocoon of blankets. Sally, the housekeeper had reluctantly taken her leave, not
sure whether her mistress would approve, but needed to make an early start the
next morning for Christmas. She was also aware of how desperate Christy seemed
to want to be alone with this ruggedly handsome stranger. Neil, ill at ease
busied himself stoking the fire, finally turned around and said jovially in an
effort to disguise his tension.
"T'is joy to my heart that you are so thrilled
to see me, but I assure you that I am not worth swooning over"
Christy however could see no humour in the situation
as the turmoil and confusion of the past weeks threatened to overwhelm her.
"How come you never answered my letters", she said in a sad small
voice, the hurt clearly shown on her face.
“Letters? What letters?" Neil replied with
genuine surprise. "We had more typhoid in Raven Gap. I have come at the
very first chance I could to have you explain in person what your mother has
written for you!" Christy noted an edge of anger creeping into this last
statement.
"What are you talking about? I have not had Mother write a letter for me!
I have written to you almost daily and have only stopped this week, unsure of
whether my attentions were returned any more", replied Christy matching
the Doctor's agitation.
Reaching into his breast pocket Neil pulled out a letter that was written on
her mother's familiar writing paper. He handed it to her and she accepted it
silently, hands shaking as she began to read it contents out loud.
Dear Sir,
We are greatly indebted to you for all of your attentions to our daughter
during her time of illness. Indeed, we owe her life to you. It was with great
reservations that we allowed her to go to Cutter Gap to teach in the first
place. This ordeal has clearly shown Christy how different her world is from
yours. Being back in
Yours Faithfully
Julia Huddleston.
"Mother!" was all Christy could choke out as she ripped the letter
into small pieces and then unraveling herself from her blankets,
sprang from the sofa and strode purposefully towards Neil, flinging the
offending item into the fire behind him. It was evident to Neil that Christy
was enraged and her anger transformed her back to the Christy that he knew and
loved. The significance of her action slowly dawned on him awakening in him
hope that suffused his whole being, transforming the gnawing doubt that had
been his constant companion since first receiving the letter. Neil watched her
now as she moved agitatedly around the room muttering under her breath. Then
catching her hands in his he pulled her close to him so that when he looked
downwards he could search her revealing eyes. Though thrown off guard, Christy
did not resist and felt comforted and centred with
his big hands in hers.
"So I take it that you have had no part in this letter, Christy" said
Neil, though it was more a statement than a question.
"How could you have doubted me Neil. I have never
loved anyone like I have loved you ", she replied simply.
"Oh Christy" he sighed as he pulled her into an embrace burying his
face in her hair and murmuring, "You don't know how I have longed to hear
you say that. Forgive me for doubting you. It's just that I am so very tired
and the course of love never has been smooth for me."
Nestling her head into his chest so that she could hear his heartbeat she
replied contently, "Well I do Neil, though it is a pleasant change to have
you so contrite."
Neil took this playful comment as a challenge and was about to retort when
Christy taking his face in her hands and standing on tiptoe pulled his lips to
hers and silenced him in a tender kiss. A very surprised Neil took only seconds
to respond to her kiss with a passion that had lay dormant for too long. When
they finally parted they stood for several moments drinking each other in,
Christy a little embarrassed at her boldness and Neil for once lost for words.
"Now if that is my reward for being contrite, mam,
then I will remain indebted to you for life" quipped Neil finally in an
exaggerated southern accent.
They were momentarily distracted by the ornate grandfather clock that chimed
ten times, heralding the imminent arrival of her parents' home from carolling. Thoughts of her mother and the obstacle that she
represented shattered her newfound happiness, causing a surge of anxiety to
rise in her. Still holding one hand, Christy guided Neil towards the sofa and
motioned him to sit down beside her.
Then facing him she began with urgency. "Neil this afternoon I made the
resolution to return to Cutter Gap. I am going backwards here I need to be back
in the mountains. I want to be with the children, I want to see Miss Alice
again and most of all I want to be with you. Now you are here don't you see, it
must be God's plan!” Then pleadingly, “Take me back
with you Neil. I cannot stay here a moment longer."
"Miss Huddleston is that a marriage proposal or a request for assistance
to run away from home", replied Neil with an arch brow.
Pulling her hand out of his and rising, she moved away but then spun around and
glaring at him replied angrily, "Don't make fun of me Neil. I am serious.
I am determined to return to the Cove, either with your help or on my own"
"You have fire in you Christy", he chuckled "
and I like a woman…"
"Now don't tell me … you like a woman with fire" interrupted Christy
sarcastically, "then you will get on well with Mother. For she gives a
whole new definition to the word fire and the word Cutter Gap is good kindle
for her fire."
Finding her irresistible when angry, it took all of Neil's self-control to
cease teasing her in this vein. Rather matching her solemnity he replied
honestly "I can not in all good conscience begin our relationship based in
deceit, Christy. I have already travelled that path
and it only ended in pain and disillusionment. I believe that God has it all in
his hands. I have a bit of a plan worked out. All you have to do is get me an
invite to Christmas Dinner tomorrow. Can you manage that lass."?
"Yes! But…." Christy interjected.
This time it was Neil who silenced herby putting his finger to her lips, whilst
asking "Can you trust me, lass"
Christy nodded mutely, and was rewarded with a tender farewell kiss.
Epilogue
Christy gazed contentedly through her bedroom window at the snow-covered ground
beneath. The soft hues of yellow, purple and pink swirled and streaked across
the late afternoon sky, heralding early winter dusk. Christy traced a row of
short straight lines on her window. There were twenty-one in all, a tally of
the time that she must anticipate before she would finally become Neil
McNeill's wife. Her attention now was diverted to the corner of her room where
her wedding gown was hung. She had only received it this morning. She was
delighted with it and moved across the room now to touch the crisp silk skirts,
as if to reassure her that it was indeed hers.
As she moved towards the dress, Christy glimpsed herself in the dressing
mirror. She paused now to examine her reflection, and for once did not focus on
her negative points. To her pleasure she realised
that she was developing a pleasing womanly figure. Her hair once again was her
crowning beauty, thick and shiny, framing a face that was blooming and radiant.
Her eyes that had always dominated her features revealed a new maturity a
combination of experiences of pain, happiness and triumph. It felt strange and
pleasant to Christy being at harmony with her body, but even more exhilarating
to be at home with herself as a person.
She marvelled at the journey she had travelled over the last two years. She smiled now as she
reminisced how it was this time last year when she was still recovering from
Typhoid that Neil had made his way into her parents' hearts. She recalled how she had kept up her part of
the deal to have Neil invited for Christmas Dinner. Neil had masterminded the
rest, even though to this day she was unsure how he had managed it. It seemed
that Dr MacNeill could add diplomacy to his ever-growing list of talents. What
she did know was that Mr. Huddleston had missed the morning Christmas service
because he had an emergency appointment with a mystery client, much to Julia
Huddleston's annoyance. Then lunch was forestalled, much to Sally's chagrin
while Mr. and Mrs. Huddleston were occupied in his study.
While everyone else was indisposed Neil MacNeill arrived and Christy had been
able to spend an undisturbed hour with him. Warmth permeated her being as she
thought of that hour for it was then that Neil MacNeill had asked her to marry
him. Of course she had said yes without hesitation. Their courtship had been
difficult at first marked by a cool distant politeness on Julia Huddleston's
part. But Neil had not been perturbed and had persevered in building a
relationship with his future mother-in-law. He had finally succeeded, and with
Julia Huddleston on his side he could do no wrong. Surprisingly over the past
twelve months Christy's relationship with her mother had flourished into a
mature bond of friendship and affection.
Christy smiled wryly as she remembered more than one incident where, Neil and
her mother had been guilty of conspiring against her. For instance, they had
connived together that Christy should return to
He had been right of course and Christy had to begrudgingly admit that she was
almost excited as her mother about her big fashionable wedding. Her pleasant
reverie was interrupted by the rich sound of Christmas merriment from below her
window. Rushing happily to her window Christy was greeted by her parents and
their carolling group who sang joyfully "O Come
O ye Faithful" and "Little Town of
It was sometime later as Christy was making final preparations for bed that she
heard a familiar rich baritone voice singing "Joy to the World".
"Neil!" She thought with
delight. Though scantily clad in night gown and bare feet Christy tore
downstairs, through the front door and thankfully this time ended up enclosed
in Neil's big solid arms........
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